Heart open, Love pouring out

I wrote this at work this morning, I was thinking about last weekend, and how much I enjoyed it. It is supposed to be a song, I guess you would have to hear it to hear it, but it flows pretty good.

1.

Looking in your eye's I see,

the morning sun

and with some surprise A love,

That has begun

The short time, in my mind,

your heart has been with mine

Heart open, Love pouring out.

Chorus:

This time, I was hoping to find

the rest of my life,

to find the one who understands,

wants to be my wife,

heart open, love pouring out

2.

Peace of heart, no longer,

hides from me

The future, God's mystery the key

the graceful way your fingers dance,

caress the key

Sweet music, comes flowing out.

Chorus.

3.

You walk to me, friends and family,

all around

We'll build a life, you as my wife

just out of town

Door open, Children all around

Chorus.

Door open, Love pouring out.

What I know

Those of you who know me well,

know of the place I have been

and the stories I can tell.

Of all the places I have been,

coming home to my Love is the best that I know

Of all the things I have seen,

The look in her eyes when she first smiles at me,

Walking in the door,

knowing what I am there for,

To see her profile turn to me,

and her eyes shine and smile at me.

Listening to the sweet music of the heart,

knowing her laugh before it will start,

Her smile lighting up the room,

my arms wrap her as if a coccoon.

Run my fingers through her long hair,

making a memory of every second I am there.

The paintbrush in my mind, filling a canvas,

Wondering why it is so often I leave this.

The scent of her hair, the way her eyes dance.

I watch as she walks, as if in a trance.

I find I keep track of her wherever she goes,

the sound of her footsteps, soft, her movement like a breeze.

I see her smile at night as I start to dream,

and when I am with her, the way her smile does gleam.

Watching her nervous, her hair she does touch.

So many questions, I want to know so much.

What are her hopes, what are her dreams.

In time all will be asked, but till then my mind screams.

A happy place to go when the day is bad,

Hoping beyond words, that she is not sad.

Knowing above all through grace we are saved.

Praying to help me relax through the day.

Precious moments shared stand out in my mind.

Why must all of my thought come as ryhme.

Sending these words out to the world as a letter,

Knowing every day, the future looks better.

Time

Though we all know time spins on, and week by week it tends to spin faster, I have noticed, that when I want to be somewhere, or have some little goal, no matter how fast time spins, that goal, or that place I want to be never seems to get any closer. I find myself thinking about someone I want to see, or someplace I want to see, and as fast as the day goes by, the place I want to be seems just as far away. Another day in the white, so it shall be the subject of which I write, toil yet and toils still. Work with no bounty, no reward, no frills. Moving something that is in the way, when given time it would just melt away, Chasing windmills no longer my goal, the image in my mind, does fill my soul. Hoping for sunshine and little spring rains, Hoping for healing and taking of pains, walking now as I have walked then, my body is old, soul yet of a younger man. Walking the earth and smelling the nature, chasing the beauty which God has so nurtured. Seeing a picture, a hope, nay a dream, her smile so bright as the full moons beams. Walking not alone, for she is on my mind, filling my world with soft little rymes. Given over so easy calming emotion, my soul not the turbulent typhonic lost ocean.


I kind of like that one. It means a bit to me...

Frazzled

After a long unappreciated day of mind numbing stress, it was a real blessing to drive home and see the snow hanging in the evergreens. The wondrous beauty of the world that God made for us. Well, let me give the old noggin' a thump and see what falls out, how about something about what we all see around us today.

Warming winds surprise the snow,

so down the valley it must go.

Snow won't flow so to water it must go

and slowly into the earth it will trickle,

this land, it is so fickle,

with the nurturous water of life

and the nutrients from which flower's bloom.

You see the snow become's nature womb,

holding the seed's and the grasses under the protective

cover of warmth and water,

when the sun says hello, and the time is right

the earth does bear it's child of beauty into

the sun for us all to see.

That is the best I can can do with my mind fried. I got really close to sliding into a bunch of kids playing on a playground today, the ground was all covered in ice, and I asked the t4eacher to keep them from the area I was working, but I don't like sliding downhill toward a bunch of 7 and 8 year old kids, and having no control to stop the 90,000 pound machine from smushing them like bugs, If it would have been once, it would have been enough. I swear they had a 3 hour recess, and I kept sliding toward them, It was enough to make you want to walk home. OK, I am done whining, Some things just should not have to be done at a certain time, and when you complain about something for safety's sake, you shouldn't get yelled at, Not Kosher my friend's, not kosher at all...........

But one more thing, A King George Quote.

Goodnight Sweetheart sleeptight, wherever you are, God hold you in his arms, while we're apart.

Drifts of our lives

Driving around town, the snow falling all around, Drifting too and fro, like the sinner's unsaved soul. Still a captive to the winds of satan to push them where he may. Piling them where discarded, unneeded by his minions deposited behind some doorway in back behind an alley, unaware as the sinner is to his life's own folly.You watch friends stumble through their lives, with children spread around with countless women and ex-wives, you watch their heart hurt when they can't see them, raised by another, the time they are granted comes to a quick end. Their heart-string's pulled, children become pawns in games where they don't know the rules, ever changing sides, black to white depending on the day, until all they see and believe becomes a shade of gray. I believe the most important thing a person does in their life is raise their children, and when I see the selfish acts of so many, not taking the long term effects into account before their decision's, It really makes your heart ache.

Foot Stomping

In this day of snow and slow going, I think about life's journey and God's knowing. Trudging through the knee deep snow, the sin of this world slows us down wherever we go. Learning to keep the snow from tracking in, The foot stomping we all do, is akin to shaking off the world from your mind as we go into our lives and out of this world in which we live. While we are in this world, we are not a part of it. Strangers in a stranger land, to lead by example of the good Christian man.

Dancing in the snow

Heart in my hand I see

The man I am and the one I want to be

letting her see the light in my eyes

hoping she'll know the tears I've cried

The dreams I have are almost simple

our life on this earth, to time just a ripple

Caring now for so many things

looking forward to the future and the promise it brings

My past is where it ought to be

someplace to learn from, to look to see

The mistakes I have learned from not to make again

sharing the little things being best friends

Time will tell as it always does

If what I might find could really be love

For this is the Chalaise for which I seek

To drink of the nectar, not quiet or meek

Pardon my stutter my heart it does flutter

from the look in her eyes as she smiles at me

Eyes dancing in mirth, my soul it does free.

These are the things I feel just today

My mind it goes dancing to run through the snow

Where it will lead me, God only does know.

At Peace

I am peace in my plight, no thought of flight or fight. For so many years alone I stayed, in my mind so many ways. Cheerful not my normal state, most days sleep an unlikely mate. I found the understanding I have always had, kept inside my very head, For so many years emotionally dead, every day waking with dread, thinking not to deserve to be happy, punishing myself for a crime I didn't commit, Keeping it all inside never sharing it. Since the day I told a friend, about a terrible way to end, It opened up inside of me, a better way to live and see, Through grace am I saved from myself, and all the things I keep and not tell, Keeping my life lived as a cell, no peace of heart, my very being a shell, Since I opened up and started to live, I see the life I wished I had, It seems as if I have wasted years held back my very own fears, not fear of failure or committing, but of opening and sharing. Hoping now to find the caring, understanding, loving, sharing. These are simple little words on a page, but in reality, of my life they explain an age. The battle in my mind I have raged, settling for what I thought I deserved, never really living life, wanting now what I have not had, hoping that I have not wasted, the opportunity to live as one.

This woman I know

This Woman I know

Though I see her now and then

and know her as a friend

her smile does light a room

This woman I know

sometimes when she smiles at me

I can feel a part of me getting free

This woman I know

when I finally came to see

she thought of me, a little more, seriously

it took my breath away

I'll always remember that day

This woman I know

I look at her now in white

on a day that feels so right

she walks between friends and family

these memories mean so much to me

For I long to find

This woman I know.

A night in the snow

Can you feel it, the rumble, the shake of speed as travel toward that rush that keeps you sane. Those moments that ensure your sense of fragility in this world, your confirmation that the decision to remain is yours for this day. The cold soaks into your bones and the wind chaps your face. Trying to see through the snow deadens your senses to the cold, and your heart is all that feels this night as you ride away your frustration. Time, time and a sense of urgency you can't pinpoint, can't decide why you feel so helpless, yet so restless, and do all men feel this at times? I know it is not the average male frustration, for I am not the average male. Yet I feel the crosswind throwing me around my lane and it brings me back to reality. Must I go this fast, Will it ever last? If only I could talk to her while she sleeps, then she would understand, I could open my soul to her and feel her tension slip into me. The passion I feel most, The passion I yearn to share is the word in my heart, my soul. I feel the words, yet I must downplay my words, as they scare most who listen. When they hear, then they are at once enthralled, enticed and they get an expression that is so obvious, it is a mix of rapture and torture, it is the same look they give a freshly dead body at a car accident. I wonder is this why death follows me? Is this why I see it so often, so I write death every day as i write these feeble words on this mushed up and debarked tree. How can the flow of ink on paper frighten so many people. I wish i could see how they feel, Feel what is real. Will it ever be, or can I learn to be me, and can she that the me that I am is not a frightening sight? Must every woman I meet feel like I am trying to smother them or frighten them away. So this is why I ride this night, through the ice and the fog, risking nothing, yet risking it all to feel. To feel What? Is it fear I seek, or do I search for a grander scheme?

cooking tips

Direction for marriage, This is a no bake recipe, with time the only leaven.

Ingredients:

4 cups of friendship

3 cups of kindness

6 cups of love

10 ounces of God's grace

4 cups of understanding

2 tablespoons of dreams

1 level scoop of giggles

Children as needed for flavor

Startout with the friendship, and add the giggles.

slowly mix in the dreams, but don't forget!

the most important ingredientof all,

God's grace!

Without that, it won't stick, mix in kindness

and understanding and the love will added

Note:

adding children for flavor will replenish giggles

I need help

I need help, I just started writing this song, and even thoughI technically have had the chorus in my head for a long time, I can't get a second verse figured out. Maybe, with all your creative talent, you can help me.

2-22-07

This job takes me away

from where I want to be

it used to be my place to hide

from making memories

but since I met you girl

you've changed my whole world

with your tenderness and caring heart

as if you've known me from the start

Chorus:

And I just wanna hold you

I don't wanna hurt, I don't wanna leave

I just wanna, be with you

and after living alone,

lost for so long

finally found the love of my life

Oh why, do I say goodbye

Feel free to try anything you want, if you need me to sing it to you, just ask me on friday, I am bringing it with on so Daniel can help me with a different song.

As Passion falls

As sunset falls, like windswept fire
I see your passioned face
as time spins on, my one desire
is for our next embrace
when you say, the time is near
I start that heartfelt race
you set me free, you make me high
with your every sigh
you bring me near, you calm my fear
your lips, still now, I taste
when you are there and I am here
I shed a little tear
for worry still, for it is me, that seeks your shining eyes
down the road we'll share those teary nights
as troubles come and go
together still we'll win those fights
and make us stronger still
with every touch, our hearts will race
speed on the next embrace
I hold you tight, this lonely night
your love keeps me awake
I wonder still, why this must wait
I miss your sweet embrace
when tired wins and sleep begins
I dream into your arms
I hold you close and whisper low
all my dreams and fears
I tremble with these feelings still
as the morn draws nigh
and as I wake with empty arms
I struggle not to cry

for whence you were, is nothing now
and darkness takes your place
I know you know, why it is
to your arms I race
and why the times you hold me tight
I tremble with your embrace.

Daydreaming

Does she wonder what I am doing, as I wonder what she is doing, This woman in my dreams. Have I seen her? Do I know her? Have I already lost her? These are the things that keep me awake at night, Do I continue searching, Just walking the earth, Or do I give up, having already lost her? There are times, when I go into a room, and I can smell her perfume, as if she was just here, and her essence fill my mind. Is it Her walk, Her talk, or will I know her from first sight? Have I known her for years, and never seen the one before me? Why is it so often I feel like a mix of the two Don's; Don Quixote, and Don Juan, Out searching for the the imaginary woman to love. The windmills in my mind, the dragon's of today, While I search not to slay their heart, I wish to have someone who actually wants to know me, as I want to know her. To love me as I would want to love her, I can't see this as a fairy-tale, This is the everyday dream of the common man. To come home to a family, stable home, children, and to love. To know what home is again seems like a age since I walked into my home, to have someone say, "How was your day honey?" Is this too much to ask, such an insane request. I think not, But at times, it feels so far away.

Another night

As I sit and watch the moon cross the sky, I wish I could sleep, Though the picture in my mind is a sweet one. I see her looking at me on friday night, it is a look I can't describe, the one she doesn't know she is giving me. The look that keeps me awake at night, and makes me want to be the best version of myself. You see, When I say I have changed since I met her, I mean that I am becoming the me I want to be, I want her to see the man I could be in the future. While there is nothing in my past I would not tell her about, there are things in my past I am not proud of. While the past I have lived has made me in part who I am today. I am ashamed that so long I lived that way, with her by my side, or alone I stay, I shall try to be a better man every day. With the words I write, I try to share what I can't say. I pray she understands these words this day, and tomorrow would be a brighter day. When next we meet her hand I'd take, she would feel the way my fingers shake. My heart would flutter, my breath would wait. This image I see, while another day I wait.