At Peace

I am peace in my plight, no thought of flight or fight. For so many years alone I stayed, in my mind so many ways. Cheerful not my normal state, most days sleep an unlikely mate. I found the understanding I have always had, kept inside my very head, For so many years emotionally dead, every day waking with dread, thinking not to deserve to be happy, punishing myself for a crime I didn't commit, Keeping it all inside never sharing it. Since the day I told a friend, about a terrible way to end, It opened up inside of me, a better way to live and see, Through grace am I saved from myself, and all the things I keep and not tell, Keeping my life lived as a cell, no peace of heart, my very being a shell, Since I opened up and started to live, I see the life I wished I had, It seems as if I have wasted years held back my very own fears, not fear of failure or committing, but of opening and sharing. Hoping now to find the caring, understanding, loving, sharing. These are simple little words on a page, but in reality, of my life they explain an age. The battle in my mind I have raged, settling for what I thought I deserved, never really living life, wanting now what I have not had, hoping that I have not wasted, the opportunity to live as one.