Her shadow

Since my earliest memories I have felt someone beside me, at times I have even seen her shadow. In different people I have seen some of her qualities, her walk but not her talk, or her talk but not her warmth, never quite the whole package. Someone who I share things with because I want her to understand me, not to keep the conversation going. With her I am myself from the beginning, able to speak about my past as a funny story, not the painful memories they have always been. Sharing my worries of today and tomorrow openly and knowing she understands and wants to know them. I have often caught her scent in the wind and heard her whisper in the darkness. At times in my life, I would swear she is all that has kept me going. Being able to discuss spiritual matters openly has brought me to a quicker pace in my own spiritual walk. I have always just known that when I truly found her I would know by a look in her eye's. this is one of the reasons I have been such an eye person, I guess. At times of discouragement, I have felt she did not exist, but I have always looked for her. In relationships in my past No-one has ever understood why some things should wait and it has become one of my fears that no-one will ever understand that some things are too precious to cheapen and exploit, needing to be protected and personal. When the subtleties of a glance or a smile are overlooked, the bond is weakened, the connection is narrowed. Every little touch from the slightest brush, to a hug should always be cherished and kept close to the heart, never letting these moments be forgotten, images lost in a sea of experiences, floating , mixing in the depth of memory. I saw her on a cold night, looking in her eye's I was almost knocked down by her depth and inner beauty. Though the road is littered with uncertainty, the fog is clearing a little more with every beat of our heart. Though much closer the start than the finish, in my heart is burned, the image of her shadow.